Scars

Since it's #TBT I am reminded of all The tears, the hits, the pain, the struggle, the knock downs, the fight to get up and keep fighting that seemed too hard to handle! But then I look at my scars and smile because I survived! When the enemy said I couldn't! I did! When he said I wouldn't! I did! When he said give up! I DIDN'T! Greater is HE that's in me and HE gave me the power to keep fighting! To keep going! To keep trying! To keep getting up! To keep pressing! My wounds were a sign I fought and my scars show I SURVIVED! 

I gotchu!

Anybody remember growing up and you were the one who they would call if a fight was gon jump off! They KNEW they could tell you cause YOU  had they back! You would ride wit em! Hitter from day one! So can those suffering silently and alone call on you/US to FIGHT!? Lets FIGHT ON OUR KNEES for those suffering silently with depression, feeling hopeless, feel like giving up, hurting and struggling with ...I been there and I know the struggle oh so well. Let's PRAY they have a support system, someone they can call,  a friend, neighbor, sister, co-worker, Pastor, even call 911 if they have to but call someone and say "I need help!" 
So to those suffering silently just know I'm praying for you! "I gotchu!" 

Shh! Silence

Silence the lies! The negativity! The doubt! The woe is me! The I can'ts! Listen!  What does God say about your life? Your assignment? About you? Your issue? Your... SPEAK The promises of God! Speak The TRUTH! Speak The Word of God! You need to HEAR it and be reminded when trouble sickness doubt fear & sadness comes because faith comes by HEARING!

Calling all Superwomen!

Calling all superwomen! Got your cape on? Got your to do list? Ok Work, school, church, study, cook, laundry, children's activities, etc... LIFE! Whew!

Even with 24 WHOLE hours in a day we still feel like there is not enough hours in a day. Right? But we have our superwoman capes on and we try to handle it all! We want to be all things to all people, the perfect parent, perfect wife, house spotless, dinner cooked yada yada yada while all the time with a smile on our face and Praise the Lord on our lips. Sound familiar? 

Tired yet? Overwhelmed yet? 

Let me let you in on a little secret. God is not requiring us to be superwoman!! Whew! I said it! You feel better? 

How liberating to know that it's ok to depend on God! Yea I said depend on God. I said that because when we try to do everything and be all things to everyone it's like we're saying God I got this! But NO girlfriend. I need God! I CANT do it all! 

HELPful Hints:

1. Prioritize - what's most important

     A) PRAYER

Prayer is the most important thing on our TO DO list. It's in our prayer closet we find peace and get directions on what we actually need to do. 

2. Organize - 

     A) A place for everything and everything a place! 

This mind set will save you time and energy! When you are busy trying to handle "stuff", just knowing WHERE items are that you need can eliminate so much frustration. 

3. Plan

     A) Grocery day, budget, wash day, etc..

Just a little planning goes a long way.

 

4. Breathe! - 

      A) You can only do what you can do! 

     

5. NO!

      A) Say it out loud. NO. 

See! The world didn't end because you said NO! 

Dont be a people pleaser! This is how our schedules get filled and we get stressed. We as women must learn to say no sometimes. We are talking about NOT BEING A SUPER WOMAN but being that woman of God who is seeking God for the day, finding that place of peace and realizing we need God! And in needing God we understand that we are depending on Him. Depending on Him for guidance. Depending on Him and in our dependence we realize WE CANT DO IT ALL! And it's ok to say NO! With no explanation attached (smile) 

6. Reality Check

     A) House not spotless? It's OK! Really it is

     B) Laundry backed up? It's OK! Really it is

     C) Dont have it all together? It's OK! Really it is!    That means you are right where God wants you! A place where you are depending on Him! He's working on you and He will get the glory! 

      

     

So throw that cape away! 

RATED-R

Hello my friends! Hey do you believe in being real? yea me too! I believe that being transparent can help someone. It's in our weak moments that God strength is perfected. We all go through high points and low points. Come go with me through a low point. I was devastated and hurt to say the least. So I put my thoughts down on paper. But God loved me through it all and I'm pressing on stronger than ever before because of Jesus! Read on.

This post is RATED-R. It contains REAL and RAW information, graphic language and truthful content. You are urged to log of now if you can't handle it. If being honest is too much for you to handle, log off. If you want REAL, then read on. 

Day 11- Monday 1-19-15

There comes a time when God becomes a reality and its not about the four walls of the church, the choir or praise team, not the prayer line, bible study or Sunday school, it's not about the Pastor or altar workers, not the hat, dress, tie, socks or suit. It comes down to God and His GODness. There is such a place where pain dwells so deep that mere words, text messages, phone calls, hugs and such can't reach to ease the pain, a place where memories can become the dagger that picks at the wound and keeps a scab from forming.

A place I was forced into without my approval by an event that has become a rag to wipe the fog off my once unconsciously clouded eyes to reveal what is. An event that stole my smile, my focus and my attention. An event that bought me to my knees. All class, "bougie"and divaness is for the moment a thing of the past. 

Day 12 - Tuesday 1-20-15 It's day 12 since my world was rocked and I'm not really sure how to go back to the "norm" as they say. I planned on getting out the house today at noon, but as the seconds turn into minutes and the minutes seem to pass quickly, it is now 11:43 a.m. and the strength to get dressed can't be found. 

Yea I know I can just hear the "religious" ones saying get up, get dressed, people are watching how you acting, get yourself together blah blah blah! But I would have to ask, is there a protocol to responding to pain? Is there order when it comes to being broken? Is there a "right way" to walk this out? Is there an expectation I am unaware of? 

Day 14 - Thursday 1-22-15

I cleaned out my dad's apartment yesterday on (day 13) which felt like someone had pushed the rewind button and I went all the way back to the day  and the ache in my heart was too much that I couldn't put pen to paper yesterday. I couldn't seem to pen the pain. I couldn't find the desire to pen the process.

I guess some would pull my "saved" card or better yet my "evangelist" card since they would say I'm acting in such a way that the "world/unsaved" would act during a time like this. You know preachers are suppose to have poise and push past the pain. You know dignified. Class. Proper. And as I try to pull it together once again as the sun rises on a new day, I again find no strength. No desire. No actual want to. 

I'm the one that people call, text or email when they need prayer. And I say that not arrogantly but truthfully. So now I need to make a prayer withdrawal because my ability to pray for myself is in the negative. One can only hope that all those who keep saying "I'm praying for you" are actually putting these words into action.

Day 18 - Monday 1-26-15

I had been stuck since the day my world was shattered. I felt like a hostage. The situation grounded me and I couldn't  seem to move. I kept saying God Help me. I knew I needed a break through. And by that I mean I needed God to pick me up out of the "quicksand" of pain and place me back on firm foundation so I can go on. Crying as I take a step, but no longer stuck. Hurting as I move, but no longer stuck. Hollering at times, but no longer stuck! 

Yesterday (Day 17 - Sunday 1-25-15) As a toddler raises their arms to be picked up, so I stretched my hands to God my Father and He so perfectly picked me up and rescued me from the place that held me captive. Hallelujah!

We live, serve God, preach, teach, sing and shout about the goodness of God and it's in pain and trouble we come face to face with what we been saying about Him all along.

Those words must now become the reality that 

 It's in dark moments that He shines the brightest. 

Today (Day 235 - Tuesday 9-1-15 YOUR BIRTHDAY!)

I couldn't write all these months but I promised myself today would be the day to celebrate you and make you proud. Today I go forward and do what it is I do. I will walk in purpose on purpose and make you proud. 

I'm so thankful for you today. Happy Birthday dad!

I'm ok. I'm sad, but ok. I miss you, but I'm ok because God has Fathered me in my darkest moments. And for that I'm Thankful. 

Love "Dee"

HOWS YOUR POSTURE?

Ok so today officially marks day #9 that I have been sick and frustration is an understatement! It's been a rough, long 8 days to say the least. I mean I have been down and out for the whole Christmas holiday! It's funny how the basic every day things we do seem so futil until we can't actually do them. 

I have a routine or I guess you can say a place and posture I normally pray. (Kneeling on my prayer pad or walking through my house praying) but being sick zapped all my energy and all I could do was sit or lay down in bed and pray. Can I be honest?  I have to say it was a little uncomfortable at first to just sit there and pray because it's not my "norm." But I love how God shows up when we are at our weakest.  God began to speak to me and minister to me like never before! And He answered my prayer that same day! And He continued to answer during these last few days! Wow! I'm so glad He loves me! He was just letting me know it's the posture of your heart that's most important! 

Pray on!

Doris

ONE STEP AT A TIME!

OK. So  I have been trying to write this blog post for weeks now and something kept getting in my way. So I almost said never mind because I was suppose to have this posted months ago! But then like the whole point of this blog, I decided to keep writing when I could and eventually I knew I would have it completed!

So believe me when I say I know the feeling of statements like Forget it! Never mind! It's too late! What's the use! It's taking too long!

So with all that being said...

I'm always pierced when I hear someone say they have something they really want to do (a goal), a destination, a "Plan A", BUT it will take too long so they choose to do something else, change up the destination, and decide to go with "Plan B" . It's as if by choosing "Plan B"  time will stand still, be shortened or speed up! 

Have you ever been there?

I guess my past experience is the reason why it pierces my core when I hear it because as they say I been there done that many times! 

And if truth be told, if I could go back and do it over, I would have went with plan A period! No matter how long it takes! I was overweight and I wanted to lose weight so bad!! but (Plan A) a year of eating right and exercising seemed like an eternity! So I chose a so called quick fix, a shorter process, a  plan "B"  in hopes of getting same results! So I thought. This so called quick fix turned into a 10+ years eating disorder. That's a whole different topic in itself. Book is in the process of being written on that so don't worry you will be able to read about the horror of it all soon.

The word  Progress means : movement forward or toward a place

The key word in that is MOVEMENT! 
Where are you headed? What is your destination? Is is weight loss, education, debt free?  I challenge you today to write it down, make a plan, set your goals, and most importantly, don't focus on how long it will take! Just KEEP GOING! By taking one step at a time in the RIGHT direction (forward) you WILL arrive at your DESTINYation!
Oh and by the way the direction your going makes a difference! You can't go forward and backwards at the same time.